BeefPieBear Blogs On Gay Bear Men's Health, Fitness, Bodybuilding, Weight-Training, and Muscle Development

Straight Men - Fear Of The Speedo And Speedo Bears

Hairy Man In Speedo
What is it about a men's bikini style Speedo swimming brief that Straight men find so disturbing? And trust me, they do. When confronted head-on by another male, especially a large, hairy and Bearish man wearing only a Speedo brief, you can just tell someone has crossed a line of social acceptability. There's too little fabric. It's too tight. There's too much exposed flesh. There's too much bulge outlined in detail to ignore. That's your job as a Straight Guy: To ignore those particular parts of another man. But an in-your-face skimpy Speedo makes it almost impossible! Even if you're not trying to, and with only a glance, your brain will inadvertently assess the man's hairiness, musculature, junk and relative 'Meat To Ball Ratio' in a spit-second. You'll either feel despair and jealousy, or a smug yet uncomfortable sense of superiority and derision.

Sure, Speedo makes other styles of men's swimwear. There's the slightly more acceptable square-cut, short-legged trunk that at least has the decency to cover slightly more of the buttocks and thighs. But we live in an era of shame and modesty where men swimming in loose, baggy board-shorts that go down past your knees is fashionable. Straight men take comfort in both seeing or wearing these, obliterating 'Too Much Information' under the loose folds of and safety of a square yard or more of fabric. Perhaps they might be less disturbed by long, jammer-style Speedo trunks which cover a man's hairy thighs and provide a larger visual field of obstruction and camouflage. Yet they still must contend with the tight fit, curves and contours of another man's bulge wearing a Speedo jammer. Less hairy man flesh is more comfortable to deal with, especially at close range.

Unless he's a hermit or lives under a rock -- No Straight man is safe from exposure to a Speedo Bear at some point in their life. He may be seaside, He may be at your family's local municipal pool, He might even be wandering around in only a Speedo bikini and flip-flops at your local Wal*Mart for chrissakes! But by then it's too late. You've been exposed to large or hairy or (gawd forbid) large AND hairy man, his love-handles oozing out of the tight Lycra Spandex Speedo like a furry, overstuffed sausage. You're just going to have to Deal With It!

Many Straight men would likely prefer that guys wearing tiny Speedo briefs stayed where they belong: Ideally at Summer Olympic Games being held on the other side of the planet. Ideally in a country they've never been or will ever go to. Ideally with the Speedo briefed men IN THE WATER exposing only their heads, and not standing on the pool deck with TV cameras on them waiting to dive for any longer than absolutely necessary. The Olympics seem to be the ONLY place where and when wearing a man wearing Speedo bikini brief is acceptable.

Speedo Bear Fashion : Bulge-A-Licious Swimwear!

BeefPieBear In A Speedo
What’s not to love about a big hairy Bear man in a tiny Speedo? Apparently the lust for SpeedoBears is a growing and trending phenomenon that shows no signs of abating. Speedo Bear sightings are on the rise this time of year as winter gives way to summer and SpeedoBear fashion becomes all the rage.

Here in Palm Springs, Gay Bears and Muscle Bears in Speedos are a common sight all year round where heated swimming pools and clothing-optional Gay resorts are easily encountered. An endless assortment of hairy men in Speedo Spandex can be savored 24x7, 365 days a year. And that’s why I live here. Generally, I’m not a brand-conscious Bear, but dangit - when it comes to Gay Bear swimwear - every guy OUGHT to have at least one tight Speedo-something for their water-sporting activities.

Speedo Bears In Briefs


BeefPieBear’s personal favorite, Hairy Bears in skimpy SPEEDO BRIEF and bikini styles is always preferred. Surprisingly, the company makes quite a range of cuts and styles for the Bare-It-All Muscle Bear in a Speedo crowd. The ‘rise’ of the side panel at the hip can vary from a scandalously slim 1” rise as in the Solar Speedo model, 3” in the Classic Endurance/Sport swimming brief. For big boned Bears with a lot of Junk-In-The-Trunk, you can pack all that rump into as much as a 5” rise in the rather mid-century modern style high-waisted Speedo brief that brings back vintage memories of retro 1960’s spy film beach chases, or Lloyd Bridges in the TV show ’Sea Hunt’.

Speedo Bears In Trunks


For somewhat more conservative Speedo Bears, SPEEDO TRUNK style cuts are available with short to middling inseam lengths cut square across the thighs. I rather like that sort of look on some SpeedoBears. It gives a sort of geometric angularity to frame the Speedo Spandex while it accentuates the curvature of hairy thighs and furry upper body.

Speedo Bears In Jammers


For the truly ‘Thigh Shy’ Bear man, SPEEDO JAMMER style swimwear appeals to the Bear who’s a bit modest about showing off their Thunder-Thighs. They may also appeal to exceptionally well-hung Bears who need all that extra inseam length on their Speedo to properly pack their package and not have anything inadvertently poking it’s head out at innocent bystanders.

Are You Into Speedo Bear Fashion?


Are you big, beefy, hairy or brazen enough to show your stuff in a Speedo? Some guys aren’t. For those who are, explore a more extensive evaluation of the cuts, fits, colors and styles for your particular Spandex Bear swimwear needs. You can visit the Speedo USA website and do additional research on the growing and bulging cult of Bear HAIRY MEN IN SPEEDOS and perhaps by doing a quick search for them at Tumblr.

Lucas Parker - The CrossFit Speedo Bear Cub

Seriously, I’m not one for fawning over celebrities or athletes like some do. Our pop media and multi-million dollar sports culture loves to create Icons and Hero’s fur us to worship. They’re just modern day gladiators that far to many of us sit at The Coliseum Of The Couch and guzzle beer and munch chips - watching TV sports in passive obesity while our hero does all the heavy work - and symbolizes the fittest of our tribe. That said, I do appreciate a Bear In A Speedo as much as the next perv. Especially little Stub-Cubs like Lucas Parker -- that 5’ 7” twenty-something little furball of feisty fitness in Canada’s West Crossfit games division.



That boy does it all: Run, jump, lug, lift, toss, tumble, swim, bike, flip, flop, haul,hoist, hang, pull, tug -- You name it, Lucas Parker does it. He did well in 2012’s Rebok CrossFit standings. Not bad for a ‘lil hairy-backed young’un of a lug-nut… Can’t wait to see how this little MuscleBear performs in the 2013 cross-fit season.

Tips For SpeedoBears : Laundering and Caring For Your Speedo

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. And when you see this one you're probably asking yourself:

"How should I care for my men's Speedo Brief after a swim in chlorinated or salt-water?
How can I get the maximum life from my Speedo and prevent the elastic fabric from sagging or decaying prematurely?
Should I, as a bald and hairy Bear man, allow slow damage to my Speedo swim wear by leaving them on…?
Or, should I remove them promptly as I emerge from the water at the pool or beach and allow them to air dry quickly?
Should I photograph & document my Speedo care process in the event of a dispute over the swimming brief's warranty?
Should I ask other hairy Bear men to strip off their Speedos so that I can wash several at the same time?

And lastly:
"Will that Bear love and care for me the same way he obviously loves and cares for his Speedo?"
Beefy Hairy Bear Man with Speedos
As a proud, Gay Speedo Bear and owner of MANY Speedo swim briefs -- I can tell you they DO wear out. Ocean salt water and pool chlorine DO take their toll on the lycra spandex fabric. Being seen publicly in a trashed-out, saggy butt-fabric worn-out, poorly cared for Speedo is embarrassing. One SHOULD rinse them with fresh water as soon as possible - and allow them to air-dry 'AU NATURAL' as demonstrated in the above SpeedoBear picture.