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Name That BeefPie! Terms Of Endearment

What do YOU call YOUR favorite BeefPies? Naming BeefPies at the gym isn’t easy. If they don’t even know you’re alive, or offer a long soulful gaze into your eyes as they introduce themselves -- Sometimes you just have to come up with a name for them yourself. I find BeefPie analysis looking out over the gym floor during aerobics gives me the observation-deck I need to really ASSIGN proper names. Some you can nail on first sight! Others... Not so easy as their True Essence may only be revealed after many workouts - and only then can you really give the RIGHT NAME to them.

For example, I’d suspected, but didn’t TRULY know that ‘Fluffy’ would ultimately be named FUZZBUTT until an opportune moment in the locker room weeks later confirmed my suspicions. Likewise, I thought ‘Sarge’ was nicked pretty spot-on at first. One day tho, instead of his usual long Camo pants - his really short-shorts during a leg-workout set me, uh, straight. He became HAM-HOCK ever-after.

Lastly, I GOT A THING for guys with lumpy, dented heads and wrinkly necks. Just makes me wanna pin ‘em down and spooge in those noodle wrunks of theirs, ya know? And so for the burliest, best of ‘em all - I respectfully named MISTER NOODLE. I could go on and on, but a few standouts over the years have been: LUGNUT, TUG-BOAT, MEAT-GRINDER, BRISTLE-TOP, BULL-DOGGER and CAP’N CRUNCH (aka ‘The Abdominizer’) to name a few.

So what have YOU named some of YOUR favorite BeefPies? Use the COMMENT LINK below...