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Why Its Hard To Build Muscle - Lose Fat - Look Great

BeefPieBear — 2009-11-21T19:26:33-08:00

The nice thing about READING ABOUT EXERCISING is that you can sit on your duff and munch potato chips while you do it. No groans, no moans, no pain, no gain. Well, at least while you're reading about getting fit and fabulous. And that's okay because: 1. You can't exercise 24 hours a day anyways. 2. Excelling at something implies learning and building your knowlege about it FIRST, practicing it second. 3. Your brain needs to be set in motion before your body can actually do it.

Lately, I've been sitting on my duff reading Build Muscle Lose Fat Look Great: Everything You Need to Know to Transform Your Body - by Stuart McRobert. It really is a standout book on weight training TECHNIQUE - few others have No-No pictures that show improper form, that go into detail about improper grip, and have a particular emphasis on What NOT To Do -- that all other's seem to mention only in passing.

All these wrongs - frequently pointed out through the book - teach you more about why your own workouts haven't yielded the results you believe you should have gotten. And it can help to make you more critically aware of everything you do at the gym - and perhaps how you haven't been doing it.

BDSM Toy Shop : Gay Pig Play Workout Gear

BeefPieBear — 2009-11-20T10:57:14-08:00

My buddy, Mutt - had a very normal farmboy childhood growing up in the cornfields of the midwest. Maybe it was all the calves he TIED UP WITH ROPE. Maybe it was HOG TYING all them PIGS for slaughter that led him down a path towards DEVIANT GAY BDSM PLAY TOYS and BEAR PIG behavior he could not control.

Perhaps it was all the time he spent in dirty, filthy MUD CAKED, KNUCKLE-TREADED BOOTS doing farm chores. Maybe it was the hired farm hand who's GREASY MITTS - those callus covered HAIRY ROUGH HANDS that first brought him to climax in some dimly lit corner of the barn. Thats where he learned that ROUGH TRADE MEN like it rough, hard and fast.

Mutt loved cows too: And so he loved the SMELL OF LEATHER - and men who wore it. He loved the feel of RUBBER BOOTS caked with manure and full of sweat from the THICK HEAVY WOOL MENS SOCKS - just like the sweaty WEEK OLD DIRTY JOCKSTRAPS he liked to wear during his chores around the farm.

THICK - STRONG - MUSCULAR - Mutt was a Buck in his prime. He could strong-arm and NAIL YOUR TAIL down and hawg tie you faster than you could squeal like a PIG. And have HIS WAY with ya anytime he wanted - to do whatever perv things he decided once he got your pants down around your ankles. Cuz he was BIG and STRONG... and Strong- Willed. AND YOU WOULD LOVE IT. And want more...

Well fast forward 30 years: Mutt's tamed-down quite a bit, what with his weight issues and back problems and high-blood pressure and whatnot - But his twisted, perverted mind is still sharp. So he still has a very active DIRTY mind. Need Proof? -- Check out his latest Mens-wear fashion styings - er, I mean STY-LINGS - at his BDSM SHOP Of Whore-ers online.

Whos UR Daddy? : GymBoss - Best Interval Trainer

BeefPieBear — 2009-10-30T18:41:38-07:00

Maybe you need to be BOSSED AROUND: Told what to do, when to do it, how long to do it, Huh boy? Maybe you really do need to be trained -- Steady and regular, over and over, hard and fast -- till you get it right.

GymBoss Interval Timer

Imposing Discipline You Lack

Well, who needs a burly, well-built stallion barking orders at your sorry, lame, pansy-ass like a tough Marine Drill Sargeant with a cigar stuffed in his muzzle and a dirty, rough-treaded leather boot pinning you down -- when you can be gently coaxed into doing it digitally with all the sheer force and brute dominating power it's batteries can muster. Now DROP AND GIVE ME TWO!... minutes of whatever you can muster. And then another two, if you're man enough. Rinse, Lather, Repeat yourself into a grueling sweat - with a GymBoss.

Lazy Bear In The Desert - Palm Springs 2009

BeefPieBear — 2009-09-24T10:14:21-07:00

Well, nothing like watching a bunch of Beefy Bears poolside to make me all sentimental watching this YouTube clip. I won't make it there this year - (sigh) - but the rest of you should high-tail it to glorious Palm Springs California Nov 25th-30th fur a whole mess of NUMMI-BEARS showing off thier Lazy asses and bods during LAZYBEAR WEEKEND 09. Who needs turkey Thanksgiving weekend when you can have BEAR MEAT?!?

Miracle Fitness Muscle Suppliment Revealed!

BeefPieBear — 2009-09-21T18:52:45-07:00

Walk into any GNC - General Nutrition Center - and you'll feel like you've been had. There's nothing 'GENERAL' about it. It's about SPECIFIC nutritional 'needs' your brain thinks you have cuz you've read waaaaaaay too many Muscle and BodyBuilding Mags - when all your body really needs is a decent well-balanced diet - and a decent equally balanced multi-vitamin and mineral suppliment.

When the BeefPie is more interested in Beef than Pie -- I simply have a 3x5 index card in my cupboard that says 'Take Your Vitamins'. Which simply means a dirt-cheap bottle of Costco's house-brand 500 count Kirkland Signature Daily Multivitamin and Mineral With Lycopene, Lutein and More

Kirkland Signature Daily Multivitamin & Mineral

- 500 Tablets - $25 Shipped - a FULL YEAR supply

Imagine that: VITAMINS and MINERALS your body needs in ONE SINGLE MIRACLE TABLET that - when combined with exercise - will help you lose weight and pack on muscle! WOW! All for a mere 7 cents a day.

Why Kirkland? Why Amazon.com? Cuz it's like all the fun of NOT finding a parking spot, NOT banging shopping-carts with old people who live in RV's. NOT having to pay for or show a card to prove your exclusive Costco membership.

BeefPieBears 10-Second Erection Perfection Workout

BeefPieBear — 2009-08-02T19:57:33-07:00

They say a picture is worth a THOUSAND words. And that RESULTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES. Well, as you can see below using my revolutionary POSTURE PERFECT ERECTION PERFECTION METHOD...

I transformed myself from a drooping, flaccid, pathetically limp status to full, erect hardness in seconds.

With my revised 10-Second "ERECTION PERFECTION Workout Routine -- Even YOU can achieve results like this without grueling workouts and heavy weights. If you would like tho share the results of YOUR own 'Posture Perfect Erection Perfection' success leave a comment and we'll make arrangements to share YOUR Before-And-After erection pics for all the world to see.

A Bears Life TV Online : www.abearslifetv.com

BeefPieBear — 2009-07-12T18:08:03-07:00

A quick shout-out and some backlink traffic luv-ya link to A BEARS LIFE magazine and their first episode of A BEAR'S LIFE TV. Now that I'm back home in the woods, away from the gym and getting all out of shape, it was nice to watch their site-launch premiere episode -- and get me some eye-full of big beefy hairy bear boyz partying it up in Provencetown...

Muscle Bear Videos : The Gay People Have Spoken

BeefPieBear — 2009-07-09T07:47:54-07:00

Have you ever been STRONG ARMED? Like in arm-wrasslin' where the guy tips you past center and puts on the pressure -- and you know you're being out-muscled -- but ya fight like all hell, ya fight back with all you got even if you know you're gonna lose. Just cuz you like seeing his big bulging hairy bicep stud-guns outgunning you on your way down. You're losing, but oh, what a way to go!

Do you know what you really want in life? I do. You want HAIRY MUSCLE BEAR VIDEOS. You want GAY MUSCLEBEAR BLOGS. You want HAIRY BEAR GAY MUSCLE MEN. (And my god you love BEARS IN SPEEDOS you dirty pervs.)

How do I know? Google Analytics tells me what's on your dirty bear brains. So today I'm strong-arming the hell out of Google here in raw naked aggression: trash-talking it during this take-down power-post: FORCE FEEDING MY BEAR MAN TOOL verbal keyword-loaded abuse down Google's throat and making him EAT IT!

----
Google likes Hairy Bear Muscle Videos, I do too. PLEASE COMMENT and paste or embed the URL of YOUR favorite Muscle Bear Video on YouTube. Show us what you liked, show us the best you got and I'll link to and embed it.

Bear Hairy Men And Manscaping Tools

BeefPieBear — 2009-06-04T17:24:37-07:00

My Wahl T-Finisher is one of my favorite Best Tools For Manscaping Men And Their Hairy Body Parts. I try to be a prudent Bear about not over-hacking my furry bits excessively or unnecessarily. Lord knows there's nothing quite as dissapointing as going to the gym only to see your favorite MuscleBear has gone off the deep-end, over hacked his body fur, shaved his back, cut off his goatee and sideburns, denuded his big beefy arms... And you just have to tell yourself "I don't even want to know what he did DOWN THERE to his pubic area", which probably got overly Manscaped as well.. Personally, I try to keep my hair-trimming efforts ABOVE the neckline - and go lightly in the nether regions.

Oh, I know U GUYZ U really just want Pictures of Really Beefy Hot Hairy Guys - and since I am a bit of a connesseiur and very professional about such things - BeefPieBear's Best-Of recommendation is BearJocks singularly awesome Flickr Photostream. He sure knows how to pick' em!

Summer: Open Season On Topless Hairy Guys

BeefPieBear — 2009-06-03T19:46:34-07:00

It's that time of year again: Summer. June 1st marks OPEN SEASON on big burly exposed man-flesh as temperatures rise and meaty muscle hits the beach with T-shirts off and whatnot.

It's the whatnot that I love to see: Thick, furry thighs (I'm a Leg-Man, myself) - toes barefoot in the sand for you Foot-Freaks out there. Wet wooly beard curling and sparking in the sun. Tight hairy abdominals with lint-filled navels there in a Speedo Brief in full public view at the beach, by the pool... Ah, summer!

BeefPieBear Does XTube.com

BeefPieBear — 2009-05-11T08:44:48-07:00

BEEN TO xTUBE LATELY? God, there must be a BAZILLION guys online at any given moment there. Hot stuff!

Click thru using this link. They got some sort of X-Tube refer a friend to earn higher access. Go find some HOT BEEF there and bust a nut:

Dumbell-Free Dumbell Workout

BeefPieBear — 2009-04-22T09:33:38-07:00

Here in this photo, we see the importance of having weight-training equipment onhand. The pair of threaded-collar dumbells in the background are within easy reach, and because of the treaded bar, the uh, collars can be removed easily for quickly changing the weight plates....

Split-Routines Last-Chance Beef-Up Workout

BeefPieBear — 2009-03-29T08:39:30-07:00

BeefPieBear is heading back home to the backwoods soon - and in the final stretch before departure - is pushing his physiology to the MAX with a Split, Triatholon exercise routine that is either gonna tighten and tone, build and bulk in the next two weeks... Or... I'll end up a quivering blob from over-training.

I signed up for a short membership at Gold's Gym for my final days. Perhaps there's some Big Beefy Burly Massive Hairy Ginormous MuscleBears here in town that I've missed! And I do wanna see what I've been missing - Gold's has such a different mixed crowd and kharma than my usual set of BeefPies at World Gym. Oh, but it's more than just about men, Men, MEN!!! For anyone who's been exercising at all, you know how the routine of routine can numb you. Alternating or switching gyms is good for the mind AND body - and if you're single - maybe it can beef-up your romantic life too.

So here's to my last few weeks in California: I'm loving the way the different weight-machines shake-up, wake-up my body to do things just a little bit different, to call into play muscles that were slightly neglected. I'm doing Gold's in the morning. Swimming my laps in the apartment pool in the afternoons. Then, after carbs and a nap - it's back to World Gym to push my body that extra notch further where it needs to go. Time's running out. It'll be hard to be as active and fit back home. Last chance.

Brain vs Brawn : MacGizmoGuy vs BeefPie Smackdown!

BeefPieBear — 2009-02-10T20:55:02-08:00

WHAT I LACK MUSCLE FIBERS, I MAKE UP FOR IN BRAIN CELLS:
Apple Macintosh Compatible USB 2.0 Web Cameras for OSX
Best Mac TV Tuner USB Sticks and Boxes for HD Television on Macintosh
Super-Fast Solid-State Disk Drives - SSD Low Price Tracker Site
Cross-Platform UVC Compliant Web Cams For Mac, Linux, Vista and XP
Bus-Powered USB Portable Laptop Speakers & Wireless Bluetooth Audio Speaker Systems
And of course:
Mac Gizmo's Best-Of Apple Mac Gadgets, Accessories and Software For OSX

That's quite an EMPIRE, eh? Well it barely keeps my face fed. And I still don't have Health Insurance. But I'm getting there, one site at a time. And to keep me from sitting on my dead-ass 24x7. I push myself away from my MacBook, load up my gym bag, and go work out my frustrations at the gym.The best of both worlds!

BeefPieBear's Hormone Assessment

BeefPieBear — 2009-02-05T21:14:16-08:00

BP's Hormone Levels and Dr. Szadist's patience are tested as BeefPieBear undergoes extraction to assess his muscle development potential:

Commit To Fit! New Year's Resolutions

BeefPieBear — 2008-12-30T21:11:52-08:00

Do you take the time to re-evaluate your life each year? Do you use New Year's as a time to set Self-Improvement goals? Will you actually sit down and write a hit-list of what you want to accomplish? Will you redefine the kind of person you want to become in the year ahead - and the kind of things you want to leave behind?

It really does take more than a 'Thought', or a 'Notion'. Achievable GOALS, RESOLUTIONS, whatever you want to call 'em - are the sorts of things that need to be clearly stated, written down, thoughtfully evaluated and articulated. And then you can FULLY achieve them. I don't know about you - but I'm going to keep 'Turning into a Big, Giant, Massive BeefPie' - progressively, week after week, one thin muscle fiber at a time... :)

Gratuitous Hairy Bear In A Jockstrap Pic

BeefPieBear — 2008-12-15T12:16:28-08:00

Talk about BEAR BAIT... For the hundreds of guys who visit www.beefpiebear.com hoping for RAW, HAIRY FLESH GALORE - and who arrive terribly dissappointed and leave 3 seconds later...

There. Is THAT what you wanted? Something truly Big and Beefy and Hairy and Muscular AND wearing a Black-Jockstrap AND Lifting Weights AND stanking up that workout bench with hairy butt hoo-hole AND getting them leather gloves all sweaty AND....... Well, Mr. Fuzzback - whomever you are, where ever you are: The BeefPieBear is totally in lurve with you. There. I said it in public.

Gym-Rat-Bear-Bunny's Beef-Up

BeefPieBear — 2008-12-08T23:24:55-08:00

I've been back in Southern California - and back at the gym for 53 days. One more week till I hit the miraculous "60 Day Beef-Up Make-Over Challenge" mark. (Which clearly took TWICE as long as a typical 30 day Beef-Up should...)

I made a PUBLIC admission on Twitter last week - and I'll fess-up to it here: "BeefPieBear concedes his revolutionary 10-MINUTE BEEF-UP FITNESS PLAN really only works if you do it like 6 to 12 times per day every day day after day..."

Well crap. So that's what I'm doing. For an hour or two a day -- to make the most of those 10 minutes - over and over again until the clock says I've spend AT LEAST an hour doing something for a workout.

BeefPie In Rehab: Enforcing The Rules

BeefPieBear — 2008-11-19T11:20:27-08:00

If you're keeping up with EYE ON BEEFPIE at YouTube -- B.P.'s 30-day stay at the Sunny Palms Dietary Detox and Physique Rehabilitational Correctional Facility has placed him under the care of it's Medical Director, Dr. Szadist. Dietary restrictions, colon cleansings, forced exercise, and gagged and bound rest-periods in restraints are doing wonders to correct the BeefPie's eating patterns, workouts, and daily exercise routine under his doctor's care.

Amazon.com Widgets

Tom Bianchi Orders Beefpie OFF THE COUCH!

BeefPieBear — 2008-11-11T07:53:06-08:00

Nude Gay male muscle physique photographer and artist Tom Bianchi made his leather couch notorious in his sequence of “ON THE COUCH” photo books - which feature some of the most exquisitely sculpted massive slabs of MUSCULAR BEEFY NUMMINESS from around the country, and around the globe. Oh if THAT COUCH could talk -- well you’d have published the collection of books Tom has over the years, most recently with his ‘Lets-Push-The-Limits-Shall-We?’ series: “DEEP SEX”

Well, long story short: In REAL LIFE, BeefPieBear is also a MacGizmoGuy Bear - and I help Tom move his images, online journal and life forward by keeping his ‘pooters happy and humming. And look - It WAS kinda hot that day, so I took off my shirt... and REALLY I was kinda tired from all that technical support shit... So I thought I would just slightly, somewhat, just-a-wee-little-bit have a bit of a moment in half-naked thoughtful, relaxing repose... ON. THE. COUCH.

Even longer story shorter: I guess it was NEVER MEANT TO BE. As I cast my sultry gaze over towards Tom and his exquisite Nikon D-50 Digital SLR camera... He clapped his hands together and said “Well! Lets wrap up here QUICK! I need to be at the gym in 5 minutes, so let’s go.” End. Of. Story. I guess guys more fortunate - and certainly more muscular than me can be seen at: WWW.TOMBIANCHI.COM

DOMS : Delayed Onset Muscle-Bear Soreness

BeefPieBear — 2008-11-01T09:19:01-07:00

Well that didn’t take long: 14 days into BeefPie’s Back-In-California Fit-Camp Boot-Camp Rehab - B.P.’s physiology threw a tantrum. 10-minute swims morning noon and night, 10-minute each bike, elliptical, treadmill triathalon aerobic workouts, 1 hour “Coreture” (Core Torture) classes - oh and the odd moments of resuming weight-training all hit a crescendo of groaning and whining, leg cramps, and neurological jitters - all symptoms of Classic Over-Training. A day of uh, re-evaluation seems in order. I need salty, buttered noodles and a long, long nap.

30 Day Beef-Up 4 Palm Springs Gay Pride

BeefPieBear — 2008-10-02T16:06:16-07:00

OH CRAP!!! OK, I’ll be honest: BeefPieBear’s first 30-day round of Fabulous Fitness Workout-Routines using the 10 Minute Muscle-Miracle(tm) work-outs just didn’t quite totally, utterly, completely, transform me into a big, giant, massive slab of BEEFY MAN-I-MAL.

OH GAWD!!! PALM SPRINGS GAY PRIDE WEEKEND is EXACTLY 30-Days away and not only do I have to get GORGEOUS F.A.S.T. -- Schit, I have to get my act together AND pack up my cabin AND drive across country AND get to Palm Springs AND get an apartment AND....

Get. My. Ass. Back. To. The. Gym.

PS I Love You : Take Me Back, Please!

BeefPieBear — 2008-09-17T05:10:23-07:00

FIVE FRICKING MONTHS, PEOPLE! 5 months of Severe Beefy Homosexual Male Deprivation has gotten to BP! I love my forest and tiny cabin with all my soul. But for the love of gawd: I need to get Queered Up so bad I can almost taste it: I need to hear The Gay music again. To TAKE A SHOWER with multiple hairy, wet, sudsy Beefs. To shave more than once a month to look FABULOUS. To strut in a slinky black Speedo poolside with The Gays. To wear sunglasses and look cool. To rub the bare, exposed hairy bellies of hairy bellied men in Gay bars again - which is my Ultimate Destiny. For the love of Gawd people - I can’t take much more of this quiet, simple, clean, safe, sensible high-quality gentle communing with nature. I need The Palm Springs Gays. BAD.

PorkPieBear Overtakes BeefPieBear

BeefPieBear — 2008-09-10T19:51:45-07:00

HELP!!! BeefPieBear's workout routine and weight-loss strategy has gotten severely DERAILED! Bags of crunchy cheesy curls, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Kit-Kat bars, and cheese popcorn continuously plot, scheme and conspire to ATTACK BP while he innocently sits at his computer thinking about his next 10 minute workout strategy! I have the bags, wrappers and crumbs here to prove it! The only thing RIPPED are the open bags of chips. The only thing SHREDDED was the cheese on the nachos. HELP!!!

'Succumbing to weakness' is not something in BP's vocabulary - But clearly empty calories and salty, greasy carbohydrates threaten my BEEF-UP MAKEOVER CHALLENGE and my road to becoming Fabulously Gay again. I feel another YouTube Episode coming on -- one where I'm going to confront my PIE-HOLE issues publicly.

BeefPieBear Industries : Merger Mania!

BeefPieBear — 2008-08-29T08:16:28-07:00

In true WWF - World Wrestling Federation style - The BeefPieBear stripped down to his BRUTE WRESTING BRIEF - pulled them up snug - and is engaged in a Bear-Knuckled, Knock-Down, Drag-Out, In-Your-Face, Trash-Talk-The-Internet TAKE-DOWN! What this means for those of you who've known me over the centuries: At the dawn of the internet I was THE RustyBear until the internet caught on and there were too many of those Rusty ol' bears for my taste - and then I moved to my forest and became BackWoodsBear for a good many years until another guy wrecked that. So, I reincarnated again as MacBearPS and Doctor Mac (who's been around forever) - appended DoctorMac - Palm Springs when I moved to Palm Springs California. I went there to build a Fabulously Gay Bear Life - where I encountered - and was nearly knocked-out by THE WHITE DEATH. As I reincarnate as BeefPieBear and rise from the ashes: I'm somewhat worse for the wear, yet a Soft, Resilient, Bigger, Better, Tougher Picker-Upper -- hellbent on taking LIFE AFTER FIFTY to the next level. Everything I do, all my identities, websites, and ventures -- past and present are being merged into BeefPieBear Industries - A mega-conglomerate who's daily workout routine isn't just for Total World Domination, but GETTING BACK IN SHAPE to face the challenges ahead!

BodyBuilding.com - BodySpace

BeefPieBear — 2008-08-28T21:57:11-07:00

The folks at BodyBuilding.com have one hell of a mega-site of interest to anyone who works out - as well as a great set of Forums and Profiles. So I spent some time there today - STARTING OVER with a clean slate, starting a BeefPieBear profile and blog there. They’ve got some good tools to track your weight-training progress and weight-loss/gain, goal setting and benchmarking. It really is just a great website worth bookmarking and spending time at.

Drop And Give Me Ten... Minute Workouts

BeefPieBear — 2008-08-12T14:06:15-07:00

Who needs a tough, cigar-chewing Marine Drill-Sargeant barking orders at your pansy-ass? Well, we all do. But until we find one -- Set your SPORTS TIMER to 10 big-muscle minutes - and simply do ten-minutes of fitness maneouvers with hell-bent FOCUS. It doesn’t matter what: Stretch-It, Crunch-It, Walk-It, Lift-It, Pose-It! All it takes is 10 MINUTE FITNESS, several times a day.

BP's Fabulously Gay Workout Mix

BeefPieBear — 2008-08-08T18:35:50-07:00

A Fabulous Gay Bear Life demands a good background dance music soundtrack: Whether it’s during a workout, lounging in hairy naked muscular splendor, or when tuned-in to the tuned-out oblivious APPLE iPOD world. Check out my faves in the Amazon MP3 Widget for my top Tuff-Up, Buff-Up tunes. But I’ll warn you now - There’s gonna be some ”It’s BRITNEY, Bitch!” in the mix. But in the meantime I welcome YOUR #1 FAVE WORKOUT SONG SUGGESTIONS in the Comments below...

Hairy MuscleBear Butt JockStrap Challenge

BeefPieBear — 2008-08-08T10:42:58-07:00

“Used” and “Second-Hand” have very, very different meanings in the world of Gay men’s jockstraps. In this case, I got one second-hand today at a local rummage store run by sweet little old Lutheran Ladies. And this wasn’t just Some-Other-Guys old ordinary worn jockstrap we’re talking about, it was a ‘like new’ DUKE ATHLETIC SUPPORTER which simply has the finest pouch design of any of ‘em. So for Fifty Cents you KNOW I snapped it up immediately and dutifully paid 4 cents sales tax without quibbling - even tho it seemed a bit ‘Small’ for being a ‘Large’. Well, the problem is my hairy bear ass and belly are just a _little too big_ to muscle my way into - as I discovered when I got home and promply stripped down and started trying to do my tough-guy posing routine in it.

Take this JOCKSTRAP POLL at MisterPoll.com website - then return here after seeing the results - and do leave a comment! Why, did you know that - statistically speaking - the face, head and mouth are also popular places to ‘wear’ a jock?!

BeefPieBear’s Beef-Up! Makeover Challenge hinges on me losing at least 5 pounds THIS month, and 5 the next. So maybe, like those ultra-tight jeans of yours that used to give you great BULGE but don’t fit anymore - I think I found my motivation to get a GRIP on my pie-hole once and for all: To do whatever it takes in the weeks ahead to make that jockstrap FIT without it’s current sense of strangulation!

For you more traditional “It was good enough for my hairy, burly, thick-necked Coach in college” guys who’ve stayed with a predictable BIKE ATHLETIC SUPPORTER - let me tell you - THEIR POUCHES SUCK - unless you’ve got a 10” long-schlong which they seem to be designed for. But not Duke - They’re more into Thick & Wide Texas Hold-’Em style pouching and feature a deliciously puckered high-cotton blend ball bag that’s soft as Snuggles The Fabric Softener Bear on your goodies. No contest - and the Beefy Pie has known this for years - Duke got pouches right with Fit, Function and Fashion!

Shave it! Show it! Grow it!

BeefPieBear — 2008-08-05T20:48:58-07:00

Ok, in Season 2 of Eye On Beefpie - BP starts walking the talk and the Muscle Makeover Challenge begins! So in the first 3 episodes, BeefPieBear preps and SHAVES that gnarly muzzle of his, strips down to the bear essentials, and starts packing on the Meaty-Bones.

Tipping the BATHROOM SCALE at a buck-naked 6’ 220 pounds - BP realizes two things: He has too much fat - and not enough muscle. And that a BODY FAT TESTER would have some rather harsh realities to tell him, and that a BODY TAPE MEASURE would probably agree.

At this point, I’ll trade Five for Five and set a realistic goal: Trade 5 pounds (or more) of body-fat for 5 big burly beefy pound-your-head-in tough raw meaty muscle gain -- before I return to California.

BackWoods Beef-Up! Starts Aug 4th

BeefPieBear — 2008-07-31T22:19:59-07:00

My DROP-DEAD (gorgeous) start-date is Monday, August 4th. I have 3 days to write up a written fitness PLAN, review my goals, come to grips with SMOKING CESSATION, and rethink everything I eat and when.

I have a bare minimum of equipment here at my cabin: A 1-hour TIMER. Lifting GLOVES. A floor EXERCISE MAT, an #18 BODY BAR, 2 - #10 DUMBBELLS, an iPOD SHUFFLE - and - after buying and returning a mountain of 2nd-hand store fitness and body-building books - the only fitness book I ever needed: Bob Paris’ NATURAL FITNESS. (Used copies often for $5 or less from Amazon is a great read - for Old-Timers or First-Timers.)

I can’t say enough about Bob’s book. It really is THE definitive guide to assessing who you are and aren’t. Where you want to get to and how, what it will get you there - and won’t. I’ve scribbled in the side-bar on page after page front-to-back: I faced my own strengths and weaknesses, my obstacles and fears, my fitness sucesses and failures. Without an honest, hand-written assessment - You won’t know who you are, or what you can become.

Hairy Bear In Speedo Terrorizes Beach

BeefPieBear — 2008-07-28T19:43:57-07:00

Lake Superior was SPECTACULAR today! And so was I - clad in only a SLINKY BLACK SPEEDO BRIEF. The local good ol’ boys of Northern Wisconsin just don’t know what to make of me. They’re the sort of guys who normally wear cut-off jean shorts AND keep thier T-shirts on when they swim... Modest Bubba’s they are, doncha know.

Name That BeefPie! Terms Of Endearment

BeefPieBear — 2008-07-27T21:48:34-07:00

What do YOU call YOUR favorite BeefPies? Naming BeefPies at the gym isn’t easy. If they don’t even know you’re alive, or offer a long soulful gaze into your eyes as they introduce themselves -- Sometimes you just have to come up with a name for them yourself. I find BeefPie analysis looking out over the gym floor during aerobics gives me the observation-deck I need to really ASSIGN proper names. Some you can nail on first sight! Others... Not so easy as their True Essence may only be revealed after many workouts - and only then can you really give the RIGHT NAME to them.

For example, I’d suspected, but didn’t TRULY know that ‘Fluffy’ would ultimately be named FUZZBUTT until an opportune moment in the locker room weeks later confirmed my suspicions. Likewise, I thought ‘Sarge’ was nicked pretty spot-on at first. One day tho, instead of his usual long Camo pants - his really short-shorts during a leg-workout set me, uh, straight. He became HAM-HOCK ever-after.

Lastly, I GOT A THING for guys with lumpy, dented heads and wrinkly necks. Just makes me wanna pin ‘em down and spooge in those noodle wrunks of theirs, ya know? And so for the burliest, best of ‘em all - I respectfully named MISTER NOODLE. I could go on and on, but a few standouts over the years have been: LUGNUT, TUG-BOAT, MEAT-GRINDER, BRISTLE-TOP, BULL-DOGGER and CAP’N CRUNCH (aka ‘The Abdominizer’) to name a few.

So what have YOU named some of YOUR favorite BeefPies? Use the COMMENT LINK below...

Goal Setting: From 58% to 100% BEEF

BeefPieBear — 2008-07-25T21:50:00-07:00

Life-time fitness starts - or RE-starts for me anyways - with 10 - 3x5 index-cards and a Sharpie. 10 goals that aren’t just vauge notions. Ten realistic, actionable goals with time-frames clearly stated: “I will take timer with me and before breakfast, I will start each morning with a 20 minute walk.” Oh crap! I just wanna drink coffee and smoke cigarettes and check my e-mail before having a greasy, salty breakfast! This old dog needs some new tricks...

Don't Just Sit There Bear - BEEF UP!

BeefPieBear — 2008-07-24T10:04:00-07:00

Something’s gotta change - and that’s ME. Cuz I’ve gotten out of shape, lost my routine, and that’s not good for any Bear. So here we go: I HEREBY COMMIT to becoming the biggest, burliest, beefiest BEEF-PIE -- Well, that *I* can possibly be anyways. I just turned 50, I can regain my lost ground and get back on the fitness track. Here’s my Beef Blog to record my progress for the world to see. Next Up: Setting some GOALS. If I can get Comments working, share your Goals and Progress too!