BeefPieBear Blogs On Gay Bear Men's Health, Fitness, Bodybuilding, Weight-Training, and Muscle Development

Lucas Parker - The CrossFit Speedo Bear Cub

Seriously, I’m not one for fawning over celebrities or athletes like some do. Our pop media and multi-million dollar sports culture loves to create Icons and Hero’s fur us to worship. They’re just modern day gladiators that far to many of us sit at The Coliseum Of The Couch and guzzle beer and munch chips - watching TV sports in passive obesity while our hero does all the heavy work - and symbolizes the fittest of our tribe. That said, I do appreciate a Bear In A Speedo as much as the next perv. Especially little Stub-Cubs like Lucas Parker -- that 5’ 7” twenty-something little furball of feisty fitness in Canada’s West Crossfit games division.

That boy does it all: Run, jump, lug, lift, toss, tumble, swim, bike, flip, flop, haul,hoist, hang, pull, tug -- You name it, Lucas Parker does it. He did well in 2012’s Rebok CrossFit standings. Not bad for a ‘lil hairy-backed young’un of a lug-nut… Can’t wait to see how this little MuscleBear performs in the 2013 cross-fit season.

Kick-My-Butt Kickboxing : BeefPie Does Fitness SF Castro

Cardio Combat MMA Class - Gold's Gym Castro
Poor BeefPieBear! Take an aging 55 year old overweight Bear, fire up some 130 Beats-Per-Minute thumping music, and put him in the hands of a championship Mixed Martial Artist instructor and watch him start sweating like a pig in 10 minutes or less. Equipped with hand towel, bath towel and a spare tank T-shirt, it doesn't help. Everything, EVERYTHING ends up drenched in sweat before the hours over. This is Satan's way of telling me I need to quit smoking, eat less, eliminate caffeine and sodium from my diet - amongst other things.

Enter the world of Paul Hoyos who offers Cardio Kickboxing classes at both Fitness SF Gym SOMA (South of Market area downtown) and up at the Market Street Fitness SF in the Castro San Francisco. It goes something like this:

"Jab, jab, hook! Jab, jab, hook! Upper cut, upper cut, left hook, right hook! Knee up, duck down, back kick, front kick, regroup!"

Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

Who knew there was such a Punch-You-In-The-Face-Mutha-Fukkah! MONSTER lurking inside the otherwise Gentle Bear I tend to be?!? In spite of my numb, bum leg and possessing the limited kicking range of a stubby-legged CORGI DOG -- I give it my all. And so does everybody else in class. About 30 minutes into the hour, even the mildest mannered of us turn into aggressive 'BRING IT BEE-OTCH!' combatants facing themselves in the classroom mirror. And all the latent life-hostility we harbor finds release through fitness.

Ah, but all good things must come to an end. Just as I'm really getting into that whole Full Frontal Assault groove, I'll be heading back to Palm Springs for decidedly tamer fitness classes next week. It's been a blast hanging out in The Castro for a month and then some. Next trip to SF - I'll definitely plan it around HIS classes.

Bearracuda Weekend Palm Springs : Speedo Bear Alert

Weather's looking to be nice for Bear-A-Cuda, Bearacuda, Bearracuda Palm Springs bear event. Sunny and 70-ish at least during the day when the skies are blue. But enuff to turn your nipples hard and blue late at night so do bring your mittens and bun-warmers if you're one to roam around hunting Bear meat in the evening.

Saturday and Sunday January 14 & 15 there'll be SF DJ's cranking the music poolside at CCBC Resort in Cathedral City. Noon to 3-ish is the best time to catch some rays and sun the buns. Featured DJ's will be the deliciously red-whisker flavored Bear - Rotten Robbie as well as Matt Consola and Brian Maier from Noon till 8pm Sat/Sun.

Palm Springs Bearracuda Bear Weekend

Shaking your booty totally naked (preferred) or packed into a slinky mens Speedo (optional). If you have a total Bear fashion CRISIS beforehand, a quick trip to GayMart or BearWear Palm Springs will let you find ridiculously tiny, sleazy-easy swimsuits to suit your mood.

For those coming to Palm Springs for this weekend a good bet is Bear Happy Hour at Hunters Bar Friday evening from 5-ish to 7-ish. Afterwards, head across the street to Cafe Palette' and ask for my red-whiskered Bear buddy 'Roxxy' to serve you up a slice and a salad with a margerita, tell him 'BeefPieBear' sent you - and tip heavily - he needs the dough.

The ToolShed or Barracks after 10pm Fri or Sat are ideal for Bear bar hopping.

Bearracuda Circuit is scheduled across a host of cities across the US thru Jan-March, then across the ponds to Sydney for a wrap-up.

Biggest Loser Bears 2012 - New TV Season

I'm not a fan of TV in general - or celebrity icon worship that television inspires. But I do like Reality TV that's REAL - and that's why I'm hooked on NBC's Biggest Loser. Whether you're fit or fat - there's so much to learn season after season of what it takes to get control of your life, and how the delightful torture of being tortured at the gym and schlepping weights around really is the linch-pin in a battle of life or death.

Santa Bear Biggest Loser 2012 Season
There's always a hot Bearish man - or four - each season on NBC's Biggest Loser worth rooting for. In the 2012 season: The furry, fuzzy Santa Bear with his great white beard and wooly pelt is the one to watch. At 62, you can still tell there's a barrel-chested TANK of a man behind the beard and under the carpet that I hope survives the UN-reality of Reality TV and can last through the challenges, politics, games and competitiveness that the show's premise of elimination necessitates.

What moves me most about Biggest Loser is the JOY I feel watching these dying, obese men and women utterly TRANSFORM themselves. When you're 100-200 pounds overweight, there IS something horribly broken inside which can get 'fixed' in the time spent working out at the gym. You really are carrying the weight of a DEAD PERSON on your back 24x7. That dead person is half of YOU, and it's the half that is killing you. So Big Belly up to the barbell Gainers and Fat Boys, and re-think what you're shoving into your pie-hole. An early grave ain't a sexy or glamorous life destination to end up in.