BeefPieBear Blogs On Gay Bear Men's Health, Fitness, Bodybuilding, Weight-Training, and Muscle Development

Commit To Fit! New Year's Resolutions

Do you take the time to re-evaluate your life each year? Do you use New Year's as a time to set Self-Improvement goals? Will you actually sit down and write a hit-list of what you want to accomplish? Will you redefine the kind of person you want to become in the year ahead - and the kind of things you want to leave behind?

It really does take more than a 'Thought', or a 'Notion'. Achievable GOALS, RESOLUTIONS, whatever you want to call 'em - are the sorts of things that need to be clearly stated, written down, thoughtfully evaluated and articulated. And then you can FULLY achieve them. I don't know about you - but I'm going to keep 'Turning into a Big, Giant, Massive BeefPie' - progressively, week after week, one thin muscle fiber at a time... :)

Gratuitous Hairy Bear In A Jockstrap Pic

Talk about BEAR BAIT... For the hundreds of guys who visit hoping for RAW, HAIRY FLESH GALORE - and who arrive terribly dissappointed and leave 3 seconds later...

There. Is THAT what you wanted? Something truly Big and Beefy and Hairy and Muscular AND wearing a Black-Jockstrap AND Lifting Weights AND stanking up that workout bench with hairy butt hoo-hole AND getting them leather gloves all sweaty AND....... Well, Mr. Fuzzback - whomever you are, where ever you are: The BeefPieBear is totally in lurve with you. There. I said it in public.

Gym-Rat-Bear-Bunny's Beef-Up

I've been back in Southern California - and back at the gym for 53 days. One more week till I hit the miraculous "60 Day Beef-Up Make-Over Challenge" mark. (Which clearly took TWICE as long as a typical 30 day Beef-Up should...)

I made a PUBLIC admission on Twitter last week - and I'll fess-up to it here: "BeefPieBear concedes his revolutionary 10-MINUTE BEEF-UP FITNESS PLAN really only works if you do it like 6 to 12 times per day every day day after day..."

Well crap. So that's what I'm doing. For an hour or two a day -- to make the most of those 10 minutes - over and over again until the clock says I've spend AT LEAST an hour doing something for a workout.

BeefPie In Rehab: Enforcing The Rules

If you're keeping up with EYE ON BEEFPIE at YouTube -- B.P.'s 30-day stay at the Sunny Palms Dietary Detox and Physique Rehabilitational Correctional Facility has placed him under the care of it's Medical Director, Dr. Szadist. Dietary restrictions, colon cleansings, forced exercise, and gagged and bound rest-periods in restraints are doing wonders to correct the BeefPie's eating patterns, workouts, and daily exercise routine under his doctor's care.

Tom Bianchi Orders Beefpie OFF THE COUCH!

Nude Gay male muscle physique photographer and artist Tom Bianchi made his leather couch notorious in his sequence of “ON THE COUCH” photo books - which feature some of the most exquisitely sculpted massive slabs of MUSCULAR BEEFY NUMMINESS from around the country, and around the globe. Oh if THAT COUCH could talk -- well you’d have published the collection of books Tom has over the years, most recently with his ‘Lets-Push-The-Limits-Shall-We?’ series: “DEEP SEX”

Well, long story short: In REAL LIFE, BeefPieBear is also a MacGizmoGuy Bear - and I help Tom move his images, online journal and life forward by keeping his ‘pooters happy and humming. And look - It WAS kinda hot that day, so I took off my shirt... and REALLY I was kinda tired from all that technical support shit... So I thought I would just slightly, somewhat, just-a-wee-little-bit have a bit of a moment in half-naked thoughtful, relaxing repose... ON. THE. COUCH.

Even longer story shorter: I guess it was NEVER MEANT TO BE. As I cast my sultry gaze over towards Tom and his exquisite Nikon D-50 Digital SLR camera... He clapped his hands together and said “Well! Lets wrap up here QUICK! I need to be at the gym in 5 minutes, so let’s go.” End. Of. Story. I guess guys more fortunate - and certainly more muscular than me can be seen at: WWW.TOMBIANCHI.COM

DOMS : Delayed Onset Muscle-Bear Soreness

Well that didn’t take long: 14 days into BeefPie’s Back-In-California Fit-Camp Boot-Camp Rehab - B.P.’s physiology threw a tantrum. 10-minute swims morning noon and night, 10-minute each bike, elliptical, treadmill triathalon aerobic workouts, 1 hour “Coreture” (Core Torture) classes - oh and the odd moments of resuming weight-training all hit a crescendo of groaning and whining, leg cramps, and neurological jitters - all symptoms of Classic Over-Training. A day of uh, re-evaluation seems in order. I need salty, buttered noodles and a long, long nap.

30 Day Beef-Up 4 Palm Springs Gay Pride

OH CRAP!!! OK, I’ll be honest: BeefPieBear’s first 30-day round of Fabulous Fitness Workout-Routines using the 10 Minute Muscle-Miracle(tm) work-outs just didn’t quite totally, utterly, completely, transform me into a big, giant, massive slab of BEEFY MAN-I-MAL.

OH GAWD!!! PALM SPRINGS GAY PRIDE WEEKEND is EXACTLY 30-Days away and not only do I have to get GORGEOUS F.A.S.T. -- Schit, I have to get my act together AND pack up my cabin AND drive across country AND get to Palm Springs AND get an apartment AND....

Get. My. Ass. Back. To. The. Gym.

PS I Love You : Take Me Back, Please!

FIVE FRICKING MONTHS, PEOPLE! 5 months of Severe Beefy Homosexual Male Deprivation has gotten to BP! I love my forest and tiny cabin with all my soul. But for the love of gawd: I need to get Queered Up so bad I can almost taste it: I need to hear The Gay music again. To TAKE A SHOWER with multiple hairy, wet, sudsy Beefs. To shave more than once a month to look FABULOUS. To strut in a slinky black Speedo poolside with The Gays. To wear sunglasses and look cool. To rub the bare, exposed hairy bellies of hairy bellied men in Gay bars again - which is my Ultimate Destiny. For the love of Gawd people - I can’t take much more of this quiet, simple, clean, safe, sensible high-quality gentle communing with nature. I need The Palm Springs Gays. BAD.

PorkPieBear Overtakes BeefPieBear

HELP!!! BeefPieBear's workout routine and weight-loss strategy has gotten severely DERAILED! Bags of crunchy cheesy curls, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Kit-Kat bars, and cheese popcorn continuously plot, scheme and conspire to ATTACK BP while he innocently sits at his computer thinking about his next 10 minute workout strategy! I have the bags, wrappers and crumbs here to prove it! The only thing RIPPED are the open bags of chips. The only thing SHREDDED was the cheese on the nachos. HELP!!!

'Succumbing to weakness' is not something in BP's vocabulary - But clearly empty calories and salty, greasy carbohydrates threaten my BEEF-UP MAKEOVER CHALLENGE and my road to becoming Fabulously Gay again. I feel another YouTube Episode coming on -- one where I'm going to confront my PIE-HOLE issues publicly.

BeefPieBear Industries : Merger Mania!

In true WWF - World Wrestling Federation style - The BeefPieBear stripped down to his BRUTE WRESTING BRIEF - pulled them up snug - and is engaged in a Bear-Knuckled, Knock-Down, Drag-Out, In-Your-Face, Trash-Talk-The-Internet TAKE-DOWN! What this means for those of you who've known me over the centuries: At the dawn of the internet I was THE RustyBear until the internet caught on and there were too many of those Rusty ol' bears for my taste - and then I moved to my forest and became BackWoodsBear for a good many years until another guy wrecked that. So, I reincarnated again as MacBearPS and Doctor Mac when I moved to Palm Springs California. I went there to build a Fabulously Gay Bear Life - where I encountered - and was nearly knocked-out by THE WHITE DEATH. As I reincarnate as BeefPieBear and rise from the ashes: I'm somewhat worse for the wear, yet a Soft, Resilient, Bigger, Better, Tougher Picker-Upper -- hellbent on taking LIFE AFTER FIFTY to the next level. Everything I do, all my identities, websites, and ventures -- past and present are being merged into BeefPieBear Industries - A mega-conglomerate who's daily workout routine isn't just for Total World Domination, but GETTING BACK IN SHAPE to face the challenges ahead! - BodySpace


The folks at have one hell of a mega-site of interest to anyone who works out - as well as a great set of Forums and Profiles. So I spent some time there today - STARTING OVER with a clean slate, starting a BeefPieBear profile and blog there. They’ve got some good tools to track your weight-training progress and weight-loss/gain, goal setting and benchmarking. It really is just a great website worth bookmarking and spending time at.

Drop And Give Me Ten... Minute Workouts

Who needs a tough, cigar-chewing Marine Drill-Sargeant barking orders at your pansy-ass? Well, we all do. But until we find one -- Set your SPORTS TIMER to 10 big-muscle minutes - and simply do ten-minutes of fitness maneouvers with hell-bent FOCUS. It doesn’t matter what: Stretch-It, Crunch-It, Walk-It, Lift-It, Pose-It! All it takes is 10 MINUTE FITNESS, several times a day.

BP's Fabulously Gay Workout Mix

A Fabulous Gay Bear Life demands a good background dance music soundtrack: Whether it’s during a workout, lounging in hairy naked muscular splendor, or when tuned-in to the tuned-out oblivious APPLE iPOD world. Check out my faves in the Amazon MP3 Widget for my top Tuff-Up, Buff-Up tunes. But I’ll warn you now - There’s gonna be some ”It’s BRITNEY, Bitch!” in the mix. But in the meantime I welcome YOUR #1 FAVE WORKOUT SONG SUGGESTIONS in the Comments below...

Hairy MuscleBear Butt JockStrap Challenge

“Used” and “Second-Hand” have very, very different meanings in the world of Gay men’s jockstraps. In this case, I got one second-hand today at a local rummage store run by sweet little old Lutheran Ladies. And this wasn’t just Some-Other-Guys old ordinary worn jockstrap we’re talking about, it was a ‘like new’ DUKE ATHLETIC SUPPORTER which simply has the finest pouch design of any of ‘em. So for Fifty Cents you KNOW I snapped it up immediately and dutifully paid 4 cents sales tax without quibbling - even tho it seemed a bit ‘Small’ for being a ‘Large’. Well, the problem is my hairy bear ass and belly are just a _little too big_ to muscle my way into - as I discovered when I got home and promply stripped down and started trying to do my tough-guy posing routine in it.

Take this JOCKSTRAP POLL at website - then return here after seeing the results - and do leave a comment! Why, did you know that - statistically speaking - the face, head and mouth are also popular places to ‘wear’ a jock?!

BeefPieBear’s Beef-Up! Makeover Challenge hinges on me losing at least 5 pounds THIS month, and 5 the next. So maybe, like those ultra-tight jeans of yours that used to give you great BULGE but don’t fit anymore - I think I found my motivation to get a GRIP on my pie-hole once and for all: To do whatever it takes in the weeks ahead to make that jockstrap FIT without it’s current sense of strangulation!

For you more traditional “It was good enough for my hairy, burly, thick-necked Coach in college” guys who’ve stayed with a predictable BIKE ATHLETIC SUPPORTER - let me tell you - THEIR POUCHES SUCK - unless you’ve got a 10” long-schlong which they seem to be designed for. But not Duke - They’re more into Thick & Wide Texas Hold-’Em style pouching and feature a deliciously puckered high-cotton blend ball bag that’s soft as Snuggles The Fabric Softener Bear on your goodies. No contest - and the Beefy Pie has known this for years - Duke got pouches right with Fit, Function and Fashion!

Shave it! Show it! Grow it!

Ok, in Season 2 of Eye On Beefpie - BP starts walking the talk and the Muscle Makeover Challenge begins! So in the first 3 episodes, BeefPieBear preps and SHAVES that gnarly muzzle of his, strips down to the bear essentials, and starts packing on the Meaty-Bones.

Tipping the BATHROOM SCALE at a buck-naked 6’ 220 pounds - BP realizes two things: He has too much fat - and not enough muscle. And that a BODY FAT TESTER would have some rather harsh realities to tell him, and that a BODY TAPE MEASURE would probably agree.

At this point, I’ll trade Five for Five and set a realistic goal: Trade 5 pounds (or more) of body-fat for 5 big burly beefy pound-your-head-in tough raw meaty muscle gain -- before I return to California.

BackWoods Beef-Up! Starts Aug 4th

My DROP-DEAD (gorgeous) start-date is Monday, August 4th. I have 3 days to write up a written fitness PLAN, review my goals, come to grips with SMOKING CESSATION, and rethink everything I eat and when.

I have a bare minimum of equipment here at my cabin: A 1-hour TIMER. Lifting GLOVES. A floor EXERCISE MAT, an #18 BODY BAR, 2 - #10 DUMBBELLS, an iPOD SHUFFLE - and - after buying and returning a mountain of 2nd-hand store fitness and body-building books - the only fitness book I ever needed: Bob Paris’ NATURAL FITNESS. (Used copies often for $5 or less from Amazon is a great read - for Old-Timers or First-Timers.)

I can’t say enough about Bob’s book. It really is THE definitive guide to assessing who you are and aren’t. Where you want to get to and how, what it will get you there - and won’t. I’ve scribbled in the side-bar on page after page front-to-back: I faced my own strengths and weaknesses, my obstacles and fears, my fitness sucesses and failures. Without an honest, hand-written assessment - You won’t know who you are, or what you can become.

Hairy Bear In Speedo Terrorizes Beach

Lake Superior was SPECTACULAR today! And so was I - clad in only a SLINKY BLACK SPEEDO BRIEF. The local good ol’ boys of Northern Wisconsin just don’t know what to make of me. They’re the sort of guys who normally wear cut-off jean shorts AND keep thier T-shirts on when they swim... Modest Bubba’s they are, doncha know.

Name That BeefPie! Terms Of Endearment

What do YOU call YOUR favorite BeefPies? Naming BeefPies at the gym isn’t easy. If they don’t even know you’re alive, or offer a long soulful gaze into your eyes as they introduce themselves -- Sometimes you just have to come up with a name for them yourself. I find BeefPie analysis looking out over the gym floor during aerobics gives me the observation-deck I need to really ASSIGN proper names. Some you can nail on first sight! Others... Not so easy as their True Essence may only be revealed after many workouts - and only then can you really give the RIGHT NAME to them.

For example, I’d suspected, but didn’t TRULY know that ‘Fluffy’ would ultimately be named FUZZBUTT until an opportune moment in the locker room weeks later confirmed my suspicions. Likewise, I thought ‘Sarge’ was nicked pretty spot-on at first. One day tho, instead of his usual long Camo pants - his really short-shorts during a leg-workout set me, uh, straight. He became HAM-HOCK ever-after.

Lastly, I GOT A THING for guys with lumpy, dented heads and wrinkly necks. Just makes me wanna pin ‘em down and spooge in those noodle wrunks of theirs, ya know? And so for the burliest, best of ‘em all - I respectfully named MISTER NOODLE. I could go on and on, but a few standouts over the years have been: LUGNUT, TUG-BOAT, MEAT-GRINDER, BRISTLE-TOP, BULL-DOGGER and CAP’N CRUNCH (aka ‘The Abdominizer’) to name a few.

So what have YOU named some of YOUR favorite BeefPies? Use the COMMENT LINK below...

Goal Setting: From 58% to 100% BEEF

Life-time fitness starts - or RE-starts for me anyways - with 10 - 3x5 index-cards and a Sharpie. 10 goals that aren’t just vauge notions. Ten realistic, actionable goals with time-frames clearly stated: “I will take timer with me and before breakfast, I will start each morning with a 20 minute walk.” Oh crap! I just wanna drink coffee and smoke cigarettes and check my e-mail before having a greasy, salty breakfast! This old dog needs some new tricks...

Don't Just Sit There Bear - BEEF UP!

Something’s gotta change - and that’s ME. Cuz I’ve gotten out of shape, lost my routine, and that’s not good for any Bear. So here we go: I HEREBY COMMIT to becoming the biggest, burliest, beefiest BEEF-PIE -- Well, that *I* can possibly be anyways. I just turned 50, I can regain my lost ground and get back on the fitness track. Here’s my Beef Blog to record my progress for the world to see. Next Up: Setting some GOALS. If I can get Comments working, share your Goals and Progress too!